Rigid Role Relations

Of the three patterns (rigid complementarity, competitive symmetry, or submissive symmetry) it is my opinion that competitive symmetry would be the most difficult to change. The power struggle to be dominate can destroy a relationship, as Townsend (2008) states, “this pattern can be stressful and frustrating and can take its toll on the patience of the partners” (p.148). I have to say that this pattern can also be the most damaging. Stress and frustration lead to unhappiness, which in turn can end a relationship.

The pattern that could be the most damaging to the self-esteem of the individual involved in a relationship is the rigid complementarity. I leaned toward this pattern because if one of the individuals is tired of being submissive or in the one-down-role can it can lead to a feeling of unworthiness. In other words the individual realizes that he or she has taken on a role in the relationship that is not healthy for their self-esteem.

I didn’t mention the submissive symmetry only because the example in the book given is something that I experience all the time with my husband. We have been together for 16 years now. Deciding what to eat is a major decision in our household. From experience someone is going to get hungry enough to make a decision and then everyone will eat.