The misinterpretation of nonverbal communication has happened to me on occasion. It is usually what I consider the simplest gesture such as a smile that is misconstrued into some other meaning. That is actually what happened to me. I was in Las Vegas with some friends and we had our husbands with us as well. We were having lunch at the Hard Rock Café and yes we already had a few drinks (which may have intensified the miscommunication). I looked up and a guy smiled at me and I took it to be a friendly gesture and smiled back. The next thing I know we have a group of guys at our table offering to buy us more drinks. Did I forget to mention that our husbands were in the store shopping? We kindly declined and the one guy who smiled at me asked, “Why did you smile back?”. I replied that I was just being friendly. I misinterpreted his smile as just being friendly when he was actually flirting.
In order to increase the accuracy of interpreting nonverbal communication there are a few steps that can be taken. For instance, one can check the context. From the example above if I would have taken notice that we were in a bar/restaurant setting, the gentleman was sitting a table with all men, and having drinks in the afternoon; I might have been able to determine that his smile was flirting.
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Hi sjssueducatedfool,
ReplyDeleteWOW! It goes to show how careful even I have to be when out and about these days. I usually say hi to everyone I pass in the store, at the bank, Starbucks, in the restaurants, etc. That’s just the way I am. That’s the culture at work. I would say about 98% of the people greet each other with a smile and say, hello. However, it appears to be a different culture in of course, Las Vegas. This city has been known as a transient city for so many years. Especially now, with the economy and depending upon where you are dining or socially having fun, it might be wise for me to keep my smiles and friendliness to a smaller circle. I’d rather be safe than sorry. Thanks for sharing your incident. What happened in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas.
Hi sjsueducatedfool--
ReplyDeleteHAHA! Just like what Paris said, "what happens in vegas, stays in vegas! Incidents like yours happen to me a lot because I work at the bank. I am constantly having to watch myself and make sure that inappropriate gestures are never made due to the fact that customers get the wrong impression. For example, I was helping a customer one time and as personal bankers we need to be nice and make sure that we are giving our customers 100% service at all times. I guess some people take things the other way and invited me to dinner. I simply declined due to the fact that we are not allowed to take anything from clients as well as date clients. (And I need to mention that I already have a boyfriend). The next thing I know, he is talking to my boss saying that I shouldn't give off the wrong impressions to clients because it makes them think elsewhere. Nonverbal communication is sometimes hard!
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI have a funny feeling that a lot of these posts will be about the opposite sex and that is just fine as it is very entertaining.
I think culture and the way one was raised has to do a lot on how we interpret nonverbal messages. Speaking for myself, I am from a country it is just polite to say hi and by to everyone, and most everybody takes it as that and nothing more.
I feel that it is pretty obvious to know when somebody is saying a friendly hello opposed to a flirting type of hello, but then again the setting that you were in might have a lot to do with it.
You handled the situation really well and thank God the husband was shopping.
Women and men definitely misunderstand each others nonverbal communication. Women will nod their head to show that they are listening. Men leave the conversation thinking that a head nod means agreement and will be surprised to find out that the woman didn't agree at all. When a woman is speaking to a man and he does not say anything and stays in neutral body language to show that he is listening, a woman will interpret that as the man being bored or not understanding what she is saying. This can lead the woman to become very uncomfortable and repeat what she is saying or ask the man each time if he understands what she is saying. The man then interprets that as insecurity, or talking to much and which then lead him to think she is not assertive or confident to be a leader. Women will actually use more direct eye contact in conversation to create relationship and connection while many men take that as a challenge to their power or position. Women will also approach a man from the front while men often approach from the side at an angle, which is how each of them tends to stand or sit when talking to others. Men interpret the face to face as too personal, or aggressive and women will interpret the talking side to side as though he is not being upfront or even hiding something from her.
ReplyDeleteI think your post is really interesting because it brings up a whole new variable that I haven't thought of before. Nonverbal communication can be confusing anywhere, but sometimes your location really affects peoples expectations of how you will act. A woman sitting with a bunch of friends in a Vegas bar is much more likely to get hit on than a woman sitting in a school cafeteria with a bunch of friends. I think that people just assume that if your in a bar and you make eye contact and smile at someone of the opposite sex then that immediately means you are interested. It all really depends on the time and the place. Most people in Vegas are looking to hook up. So the fact that you were sitting with a few girlfriends probably made the polite smile seem a lot more meaningful then you actually menat it to be.
ReplyDeleteHello sjsueducatedfool! Ah yes, misinterpretation among the sexes. Do you think this happens often? Also, have you ever had an experience where you or someone of the same gender has misinterpreted a message? Perhaps with someone you are familiar with, or know well?
ReplyDelete