Creatures of our culture

I somewhat agree with anthropologist Ruth Benedict’s statement “we are creatures of our culture”. Most of our behavior is learned which in turn is developed from our upbringing. This is where our culture becomes a major factor of “who” we are and how we identify ourselves. As we grow older, I am not referring to senior citizen status, we begin to develop individualism; this is what I have experienced being raised in America. This is where we can break through the limits of our cultures. In California we have such diverse communities that it is easy to recognize the struggle members of different collectivist cultures are faced with trying to adjust to American culture and our individualism. Can we break through the limits of our cultures? I am not sure. In some ways we will always carry with us what was learned at an early age. In other ways we definitely want our own individual identity but this still incorporates some aspects of our habits, beliefs, and impossibilities.

Body Type - Nonverbal Communication

There was one section of chapter five that I did not consider as nonverbal communication and that is body type. I also learned a few new terms for different body types, such as: “endomorph (short, round, and fat), Mesomorph (average height, muscular, and athletic), and Ectomorph (tall, thin, and frail)” (Trenholm, 2008, p. 130). These terms also have different personality characteristics to go with them. Some of the descriptions consist of “content, generous, and affectionate for endomorphs, energetic, enthusiastic, and competitive for mesomorphs, and shy, serious, and sensitive for ectomorphs” (Trenholm, 2008, p. 131). To get back to body type and nonverbal communication, I never really considered the cultural norms for body type and the advantages and disadvantages with regards to romance and ones career especially when it comes to the male gender. The example in the book made me think of something I never considered and that was the height of a man and how it can lead to a better career and romance. I really never considered the height of a man in the context of nonverbal communication. I guess this was one of those ahha moments.

Cultural Differences in Nonverbal Communication

The first thing I have to state is that I am not a traveler. In fact I have only been to neighboring states of California and never out of the country. I have lived in the same city and state all of my life so I really don’t have any real life experience just what I have learned in class and from others experiences. I have heard of nonverbal communication meanings of other cultures from some of my business classes. For instance, in Saudi Arabia it is an insult to show the sole of your shoe while conducting business. Another issue of nonverbal communication that does not carry the same meaning is eye contact. In the US eye contact is positive and in Japan and Latin American is avoided to show respect. I am sure there are a lot more and I look forward to reading the other posts to gain more knowledge.

Misinterpretation of Nonverbal Communication

The misinterpretation of nonverbal communication has happened to me on occasion. It is usually what I consider the simplest gesture such as a smile that is misconstrued into some other meaning. That is actually what happened to me. I was in Las Vegas with some friends and we had our husbands with us as well. We were having lunch at the Hard Rock Café and yes we already had a few drinks (which may have intensified the miscommunication). I looked up and a guy smiled at me and I took it to be a friendly gesture and smiled back. The next thing I know we have a group of guys at our table offering to buy us more drinks. Did I forget to mention that our husbands were in the store shopping? We kindly declined and the one guy who smiled at me asked, “Why did you smile back?”. I replied that I was just being friendly. I misinterpreted his smile as just being friendly when he was actually flirting.

In order to increase the accuracy of interpreting nonverbal communication there are a few steps that can be taken. For instance, one can check the context. From the example above if I would have taken notice that we were in a bar/restaurant setting, the gentleman was sitting a table with all men, and having drinks in the afternoon; I might have been able to determine that his smile was flirting.

Equivocal Communication

In chapter 4 I found equivocal communication interesting. Trenholm (2008) describes equivocal communication as, “another term used to describe ambiguous communication, is most often used when a communicator feels trapped between two unpleasant alternatives” (p. 99). There are 3 questions to answer of hypothetical situations and how you would handle them. I actually would have dealt with 2 of the situations using equivocal communication. There are pro’s and con’s to equivocal communication. The pro is that there was a response without lying or hurting anyone’s feelings. The con is that some feel this type of communication is misleading and not honest. I tend to lean towards the pro interpretation of equivocal communication. From my own personal experience at work, if your superior asks how they did, equivocal communication is the way to go. Some may call me a coward but during this time of recession I want to keep my job.

Gender Differences in Language

I do agree that men and women use language differently. In most areas of communication the gender difference in communication has to do with the usage of language. The text gave some great examples of how we communicate differently and I have to say I have experienced these examples in my life too many times. Trenholm (2008) states, “women specialize in relationally oriented talk, whereas men specialize in task-oriented talk” (p. 91). I have been in a relationship for 15 years and I really see how the communication process between females and males is different. Just like the example given between Maria and Tom, that was our communication style in the beginning but over the years we have learned how to communicate more effectively. We actually set aside time to have long evolved detailed talks so he doesn’t feel like I am giving him the third degree. There is one thing I also have to comment on and that is the example of the men not wanting to ask for directions and the woman does. I have been in this situation so many times with my husband. I finally get it and by the way the GPS system I bought him for Christmas will probably help us a lot in this situation.

Judging and Categorizing

In my opinion it is possible to perceive others without in some way judging or categorizing them but it is very unlikely. There are methods we can use to be better prepared in our perception of others for instance being mindful. According to Trenholm, (2008) mindful processing is “when we act mindfully, we actively think about the world, creating new understandings rather than relying on old” (p. 54). I believe that many of us unconsciously use a construct referred to as chronically accessible constructs. Trenholm (2008) states, “these constructs are likely to color and bias our interpretation of others and their messages” (p.52). A method that can assist us in not judging or categorizing is called cognitive complexity. Trenholm (2008) states, “Cognitive complexity occurs when an individual has a large, rich, and varied set of personal constructs. The cognitively complex person is willing to combine seemingly contradictory characteristics in creative ways, realizing that people are not all good or all bad” (p. 52 – 53).